Craving Attention ??

I won’t speak on anything I have not lived or experienced. I read your question, and I’ll raise you one: What is the attention you crave from others truly worth? Is it worth a million to you? Or perhaps a billion? What exactly is it worth? If you can’t assign a specific figure down to the last digit as an answer, then you already have your answer. Craving attention is not a solid foundation for your self-esteem or self-worth. In fact, I can tell you this: the attention you think affects your self-esteem; the moment you find someone new who can give you fresh attention, you often realize that the previous attention was never as meaningful as you believed. The clamour for attention does not fundamentally impact our self-esteem and self-worth. So, what does impact them? Allow me to paint a picture on a blank canvas, just like a painter would. I grew up with many eyes on me. As a child, I was immensely popular and well-known by everyone in my neighbourhood. This notoriety did not stem from anything particular I did; I was simply loved and playful. Over time, however, I began to crave this attention. As the philosopher Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” The attention I received became foundational, dictating not only my mood but literally determining when I was happy and when I was not. One critical lesson I have learned is that craving attention or seeking validation from others is not the true cause of our self-esteem or self-worth. Instead, it reflects our deeper, rooted fears and self-doubts. To truly understand ourselves, we must first confront these fears and self-doubts. The only factors that can genuinely affect our self-worth and self-esteem —whether through our self-doubt or fears—are intertwined with the understanding that the attention we seek is transient. You see, despite our attempts to make this attention craving permanent, it never lasts, especially when life presents us with new challenges that amplify our fears and self-doubts. According to the Stockholm Syndrome Theory, we often bond with what we fear rather than what we understand. You see, we wake up each day facing our self-doubts and fears, and those initial thoughts determine our mood and cravings for the 24 hours we get gifted in the day. We must address the root cause of our cravings: our fears and self-doubts. When we learn to use them as tools instead of allowing them to negatively dictate our cravings, we can transform our weaknesses into advantages. Our fears and self-doubts emerge from both physical and mental events, and the best approach to managing them is to confront them directly. Feel the pain that accompanies these fears and self-doubt. If we don't take time for self-reflection and understand them, we can’t grasp how these keep shaping our attitudes and daily cravings. As Brené Brown, in her research on vulnerability, stated, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” It is only through an in-depth understanding of our fears and self-doubts that we can identify the necessary knowledge to heal and ensure that they do not rule us and the next time we face our fears and self-doubts, we are better prepared because we have taken time for self-reflection. You see we must be willing to grow through the pain and discomfort that these fears and self-doubts bring. When we succumb to our fears, it is not a cue to give up or feel discouraged. Instead, every defeat becomes a blueprint for future experiences—an outline to inform us about what to do and what not to do. The feelings associated with defeat can guide us toward understanding our needs and the necessary tools for growth. Never be afraid to feel, confront your fears, or challenge your self-doubts. Self-reflection is crucial, as it allows us to study the true source of our cravings for attention: our fears. If we can transform our fears and self-doubts into tools for growth, we will begin to channel the right energy, fostering healthier cravings. When you wake up each day prepared and equipped with self-reflection and the right knowledge, you will be ready to face your fears and self-doubts with confidence. Failure is never a reason to stop; it is simply another step in your journey. God is the greatest teacher / Empowered by divine strength.

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Written by: 3 Kings and 3 Crowns.