Reflect, Grow, Thrive: Embrace Self-reflection Today

I won’t speak about anything I’ve not lived or experienced. To put it as straight and direct as I can: the consequence of not taking time for self-reflection and introspective thinking is (fear and self-doubt). “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” — Daniel J. Boorstin. You see, fear and self-doubt are among the smoothest yet silent effects of neglecting to have a discussion with ourselves. “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” — Aristotle. Allow me to paint you a picture on a blank canvas just like a painter. I began my early days in life as a "happy child." Growing up, I always wondered what it meant to think, I often asked myself: what do adults really think about? I frequently pondered why thoughts existed in the first place. I remember many times seeing my dad sitting alone in the corner of the house, keeping to himself and self-reflecting, which always puzzled me and my mom, also absorbed in her thoughts, often sat on her favourite green chair with notes in her hand. I just never understood the importance of taking time to reflect. It got to a point in my life where I started to fake it. I was so curious to understand why people thought the way they did that I thought maybe if I mimicked their behaviour, I would grasp it. Perhaps, just perhaps, I would understand what they were really thinking and the importance of self-introspecting, self-reflection, and the consequences of not engaging in them. I can tell you for a fact that this strategy did not help much; it needed to evolve. “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” — Albert Einstein. I grew up unconsciously crafting thoughts in my head just to understand what people gained from self-reflecting and introspecting. Initially, I thought people engaged in self-reflection simply to look busy until I faced my first failure. You see, the very first day I understood what it meant to fail was also the day I faced my first fear and self-doubt. “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” — Henry Ford. Just like every painter will tell you, if you drop the wrong colour on your canvas while painting, you are instantly faced with two choices: start over or turn your mistake into art. In the next paragraph, I will illustrate how I transformed the unwanted paint that dropped on our white canvas into art; I mean how I faced my failures, fears, and self-doubt through self-reflection and self-introspecting. The first time I truly experienced failure, fear and self-doubt was just like any other 24-hour day that I was gifted. I remember for some reason, I was so hot on this day even though I woke up feeling so cold that I had to wear two extra oversized sweaters just to feel comfortable. You see, on this day, though the weather was cold, I later realised I was all of a sudden hot because that was the day I got my final year result for my Bachelor's degree, and I did not know what to expect. You see, I had not been worried about this because I had failed a lot before, and I always promised myself and my parents that I would do better with additional dramatic pleading [often you'll find me lying flat on the floor pleading]. This particular afternoon felt different because it was the final result. “You cannot swim for new horizons until you dare to lose sight of the shore.” — William Faulkner. Although I had failed in the previous years, I genuinely put a lot of effort into trying to avoid failing which would have led to me redoing an extra year. You see, to my greatest surprise and some luck, though I did not pass with an outstanding first class, I passed nonetheless. That same afternoon, after sharing the news with my parents and siblings, a few hours later, the temperature of my body changed, and I was introduced to my first fear and first self-doubt. I was introduced, for the first time to [Life’s failure & not educational failure]. You see, though that afternoon was supposed to be a celebration of my hard work and my results, I later realized that to get into another university to study a Master’s course (MSc) as I had just passed a (BSc), the minimum requirements were exactly what I did not have. “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt. Even though I had just passed my (BSc), which is a Bachelor’s degree, I could not move forward to study my (MSc), Master’s degree. You see studying for an (Msc) Master's degree was not just about the degree for me; it was about the opportunities that came with it for me at the time. That was the moment my life flashed in front of me. I was hot in winter and was introduced to my fear and self-doubt. I realized that even though I graduated, what I was really looking forward to, the Master’s degree, just like the paint that mistakenly dropped on the canvas, was now my greatest fear and reason for self-doubt. At this point, I was all alone, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t need to fake it or force myself to self-reflect. “Self-reflection is the school of wisdom.” — Baltasar Gracián. I found myself seated alone with my thoughts, and I had to self-reflect and take time for introspective thinking. One thing I can tell you for a fact is that even though it was my first time self-reflecting, I was sitting in a room alone, watching my life like a movie, mentally. I was faced with my life, and at that moment, I realized that the human brain captures and stores the best pictures. You see, at any time, mostly when we fail, and we ask our mind to bring up reasons why we failed, our brain will present the best pictures with the emotions we felt at the time attached to each one. Our failures, fears, and self-doubt never shy away; they are quiet until it's time to attack. One thing I realized from that day of truly taking time to self-reflect and actually dedicating time for introspective thinking was, that the only way to truly understand our failures, and the only way we get to replay our lives like movies mentally, the only way we can transform mistakes made on our blank canvas into masterpieces is by looking at the whole canvas from all angles, sitting back, and examining our lives: Where did we fail? Why do we feel fear? Why do we self-doubt? You see, self-reflection and taking time for introspective thinking are the best ways to transform our failures from sources of sadness and emotional pain into emotional journeys we can learn from. “Mistakes are proof that you are trying.” — Jennifer Lim. I can tell you one thing for a fact: I started and graduated my (MSc) Master’s degree several years ago, and the only way I was able to despite having to face my first challenge of not being able to get into any university to study for my (MSc) and my second challenge, which was my self-doubt, the feeling that I wasn’t good enough for the first few months of my Master’s studies because of my (BSc) Bachelor degrees results was simply by facing the pain that came with self-reflection and taking time for introspective thinking. I had to take the time to self-reflect, even though it was not fun, even though it hurt, even though I had to let my pride and ego go and acknowledge to myself that, yes, I failed. “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” — Henry Ford. Once I was able to accept that I had failed and accept the pain that came with my self-reflection and introspective thinking, it became easier and clearer for me to know (what to do next and what not to do).You see, if you don't challenge your brain to produce the pictures and emotions attached to your failures, fears, and self-doubt, you can't understand them, and won't recognize the tools we lack and the skills we need to acquire to ensure we don’t fail again when we face the same fears and self-doubt that silently creep in just as the unwanted paint dropped on our white canvas as long as we accept and are willing, and are ready to self-reflect and take time for introspective thinking which comes with facing our fears and self-doubt, which also comes with its own pain, we will always see that failure, self-doubt, and our fear are not reasons to stop, they are not reasons to give up. In fact, they are the additional tools we need to guide us toward the next steps, the next tools, the next skills, and the next evolving we require to be ready for our next failure, fear, and self-doubt. God is the greatest teacher / Empowered by divine strength.

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Written by:3 Kings and 3 Crowns.